How to get there, Self enquiry
Self enquiry..
Ask yourself: What am I?Your body and mind?
If you think you are the body, what does that entail? The body is always changing.If anything you are DNA, more than you are your body.
Your body is made up of cells, head to toe. Different kinds of cells for bones, nails, lungs, fat, etc. Your DNA tells your cells, what cells to kill and what new cells to turn your food into. And it tells the cells how to repair themselves ehrn damaged. Your body isn't always made up of the same cells, your cells aren't always made up of the same molecules and your molecules aren't always made up of the same atoms. You are only your body on average. But you are not just your DNA.
You body is a dynamic balance that we think of as constant and so is your mind.
If you think you are your mind, what does that entail? The mind is always changing.
If anything you are your personality, more than you are your mind. The personality is how you react.
Your mind is made up of thoughts. Different kind of thoughts. Memories, logic, rules, definitions, fantasies, thoughts about thoughts ect.
Your thoughts tell you what is true and what is not, what to remember, what to do next, how to behave.
You are only your mind or your personality on average. But you are not just your personality.
Your cells have an autonomy like ants. Even some intelligence. They can attack other cells, transport food. But you are not any of these cells. You lose cells and create new ones every day.
You are not your memories, thoughts, emotions, intellect, personal history or even your personality. They too are made up of parts that come and go and change during your life.
Your thoughts have an independence.
But thoughts are always changing. You cannot always control them. New memories are constantly made and old things are forgotten, mistakes are made.
Where does every thought come from?
We perceive the thought and we can follow it. Spin another story from it. Apply logic to it. Believe it and make a definition, resist it or accept it because of emotion. Or... we can see it as just a thought. We don´t have to draw a conclusion, store it in some way.
We have an illusion that our mind helps us to determin what is true, what is important. We believe our thoughts to be important, because of this.
But everything we can perceive is only the average and we immedeately slap conclusions on that at a subconscious level. We see lines and hear "speech". But that isn´t true, we see dark and light spots and decide they are lines, we hear variations in air pressure and decide they contain speech. We make meaning of things. We need truths to be absolute, to see the big picture.
We need concepts. Things we decide to be true.
And we often fail to realise that something is only true, that particular moment, from that particular viewpoint or context. We hold on to our truths, long after they have outlived their usefulness.
Look at it slightly differently and everything can change in an instant. Give it enough time and new things become important. New things become true.
So why even call you... you?
What is constant about you? Where is the pattern that organizes all of this?
What are you?
Maybe you can only really be life itself. Not just a body, just the mind, just the personality or any other concept/truth, which will change over time or with a different context..
It's the only thing left.
It's the only thing left.
And it's a concept. So it must be wrong in some way.
We must go to what we feel. What is there, when we don´t conceptualise. We feel, we breath, we ´hear´ our own thoughts, we are self aware, conscience, meaning: we observe.
We must go to what we feel. What is there, when we don´t conceptualise. We feel, we breath, we ´hear´ our own thoughts, we are self aware, conscience, meaning: we observe.
This is constant: You are always observing everything. The thoughts about it, your conclusions, aren´t constant.
That must mean that you are the observer, not the one it happens to. Not the body, not the mind.
The one it happens to is in reality a moving target. So we simplify it with a concept like body and mind. Which refers to a temporary construct meant to simplify things a bit. Your body can be sick or wounded, you are not the sickness or the wound. Your personality is only a model of yourself, but a model is never the real thing.
We resist this thought, even though it is a logical consequence. Because we loose something.
We loose the illusion of accomplishment, of free will, of responsibility, of posession.
´My´ accomplishments, things brought about by ´my´ intents.
This goes for successes and for disasters. So it's a great loss and a freaking relief.
It is an illusion that pains us as well as delights us at times. We don´t want to loose it.
So don´t. But realise it is an illusion. A thought designed to help you function. Nothing more, nothing less.
My possesions, my clothes, my house, my wife and kids. Ok, you cannot own people, so let´s call them attachements. We use the words my, because we assume there is an I.
I can draw a breath, it is my breath. I can breath out and it´s everybodies air.
I can spit in the ocean, it is my spit. But... It instantly becomes the ocean.
Everything I own, I have borrowed. Everything I love, is an average and temporary.
That´s scary, because I loose 'my' security, fear for ´my´ life. It is an illusion. A concept designed to has helped you function. Nothing more, nothing less.
My responsibilities. I need to do certain things, to be worthy of love. This is the very conditional love we have for our self. These stem from the rules we inflict upon each other to feel safe. It stems from fear. Loving something is accepting it for what it is. A responsibility is force. Stemming from an inability to accept that everything comes, everything goes, no matter what we do.
My free will. We want to be free, more than anything. We want to be individuals.. Because we believe we cannot be free of our own conclusions and thoughts. That is what we want to be free with.. We want to decide, but we never ask on what basis.
We never ask ourselfs who this "I" is that decides. It is a moment, a blink of an eye. Anything else is a concept.
These things are all thoughts. Leave those thoughts for just a minute.
That must mean that you are the observer, not the one it happens to. Not the body, not the mind.
The one it happens to is in reality a moving target. So we simplify it with a concept like body and mind. Which refers to a temporary construct meant to simplify things a bit. Your body can be sick or wounded, you are not the sickness or the wound. Your personality is only a model of yourself, but a model is never the real thing.
We resist this thought, even though it is a logical consequence. Because we loose something.
We loose the illusion of accomplishment, of free will, of responsibility, of posession.
´My´ accomplishments, things brought about by ´my´ intents.
This goes for successes and for disasters. So it's a great loss and a freaking relief.
It is an illusion that pains us as well as delights us at times. We don´t want to loose it.
So don´t. But realise it is an illusion. A thought designed to help you function. Nothing more, nothing less.
My possesions, my clothes, my house, my wife and kids. Ok, you cannot own people, so let´s call them attachements. We use the words my, because we assume there is an I.
I can draw a breath, it is my breath. I can breath out and it´s everybodies air.
I can spit in the ocean, it is my spit. But... It instantly becomes the ocean.
Everything I own, I have borrowed. Everything I love, is an average and temporary.
That´s scary, because I loose 'my' security, fear for ´my´ life. It is an illusion. A concept designed to has helped you function. Nothing more, nothing less.
My responsibilities. I need to do certain things, to be worthy of love. This is the very conditional love we have for our self. These stem from the rules we inflict upon each other to feel safe. It stems from fear. Loving something is accepting it for what it is. A responsibility is force. Stemming from an inability to accept that everything comes, everything goes, no matter what we do.
My free will. We want to be free, more than anything. We want to be individuals.. Because we believe we cannot be free of our own conclusions and thoughts. That is what we want to be free with.. We want to decide, but we never ask on what basis.
We never ask ourselfs who this "I" is that decides. It is a moment, a blink of an eye. Anything else is a concept.
These things are all thoughts. Leave those thoughts for just a minute.
And finally we loose the world. Or the illusion of truth.
You might realise you have no direct experience of the world at all. When you perceive anything, you turn it into concepts, automatically... You are the biggest part of your perception.
How else can you dream and not be able to tell the difference?
But what happens if we look at the world, prepared to meet the illusions we create to cope with it´s immense complexity? The simplifications of objects like trees and chairs, concepts like past, future, others. Trees, that are always changing. Chairs we cannot define. (We can say if something is a chair instantly, but name one thing that makes a chair a chair and you´ll be able to find a chair without it, so what is definition?),
Past that is coloured by your viewpoint and emotion. Future that is coloured by your wishes and fears. Others that are only projections of yourself.You used to think your teddybears had a personality. You now think others have it. The only difference is, that others think it too and teddybears don´t think at all. But the personality happens in your head.
And you can look into the world and feel that it is YOU, because the world that you are experiencing is an illusion, a model made by your body and your brain, and therefore really just another part of you.
The observing of the illusion is you.
You don't exist and are all that is at the same time.
You can be all, or you can identify somewhere. That choice is yours. And if you identify, you can identify as the world, life, the nation, humanity, part of a family, part of a group, somebodies child, parent or lover, a person, a mind, a men, a woman, a thought, a concept. Or be beyond concepts, be what is, without labels, without constraints.
You can be the world, the universe, you are everything you have ever known and you can be nothing when you look at yourself from your old perspective as a thing. A temporary configuration at best. A blink of an eye.
But once you have seen it, truly realise it, you cannot ignore it anymore.
Boundaries only exist somewhere as a concept, as a helpful thought.
It becomes natural to love trees and plants, they are just an extension of your lungs. Making the oxygen you use, having a life of their own, striving to be higher than the plants around it. Repairing, growing, killing. Just like your cells, just like your thoughts: a dynamic balance.
It becomes very easy to recognize that which is truly you in others, the only true thing about them. Not who they think themselves to be, present themselves or their agenda. And we can love others, because we see that we are not the same, but one.
They too are nothing and everything and therefore there is only one conclusion, we are all one. We are all God of our own universe. And we are all nothing, parts of a bigger whole.
Identifying as one or the other is a choice. It is a matter of focussing on a small part, or the whole. But sometimes one is helpful, sometimes the other.
Become aware of this and don´t let the choice be automatic, because in our society, the choice will be always one way. You cannot sell anything to somebody, who is nothing.
The observing of the illusion is you.
You don't exist and are all that is at the same time.
You can be all, or you can identify somewhere. That choice is yours. And if you identify, you can identify as the world, life, the nation, humanity, part of a family, part of a group, somebodies child, parent or lover, a person, a mind, a men, a woman, a thought, a concept. Or be beyond concepts, be what is, without labels, without constraints.
You can be the world, the universe, you are everything you have ever known and you can be nothing when you look at yourself from your old perspective as a thing. A temporary configuration at best. A blink of an eye.
But once you have seen it, truly realise it, you cannot ignore it anymore.
Boundaries only exist somewhere as a concept, as a helpful thought.
It becomes natural to love trees and plants, they are just an extension of your lungs. Making the oxygen you use, having a life of their own, striving to be higher than the plants around it. Repairing, growing, killing. Just like your cells, just like your thoughts: a dynamic balance.
It becomes very easy to recognize that which is truly you in others, the only true thing about them. Not who they think themselves to be, present themselves or their agenda. And we can love others, because we see that we are not the same, but one.
They too are nothing and everything and therefore there is only one conclusion, we are all one. We are all God of our own universe. And we are all nothing, parts of a bigger whole.
Identifying as one or the other is a choice. It is a matter of focussing on a small part, or the whole. But sometimes one is helpful, sometimes the other.
Become aware of this and don´t let the choice be automatic, because in our society, the choice will be always one way. You cannot sell anything to somebody, who is nothing.
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